I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once

Well, to put it lightly, alot has happened in the last month. October has always been a month that hits me harder than the rest. It starts with my Birthday which is usually a wonderful day due to the great people in my life who are always there to make me smile and laugh. This year seemed hard mainly because I knew James and I were struggling with money and I didn't want alot of pressure on James' shoulders for a big birthday party.

Money Sucks!!! I've always had a job and I've always been able to just spend what I wanted. I mean I've never been rich, lol, that's funny to even think about. I have just always been one to buy what I want and enjoy it. Lately, since losing my job at Zales, it's been different. I have had to be so careful that all the bills are covered and that we have food for the babies as well as for ourselves. James has been so stressed about the money. If you want to give a relationship a test.... have both people unemployed and see if they are able to make it through. I'm so happy and blessed to say that James and I made it! We made it and I know that we can make it through anything now.

New jobs were the best part of this month. James now works for Office Max which lets him show his "geek" side, which he really really likes!! He's been working so hard and I really think that he enjoys it which makes me so so happy!! I was lucky enough to also get a job this month, well... I start the beginning of next month, but still. I will be working for Idaho Central Credit Union, which I am so excited about!!! When I lost Zales, I took some time to soul search and really think about what I really wanted to do for a career that I would enjoy and that would benefit James and my life together. After alot of thought and a great example of how Julie loves Potelco, I decided I wanted a more structured job... workin' 9-5, what a way to make a livin'... that's what I want! Now I am lucky enough to say that's exactly what I found!! I am so anxious to start work that I hope this next week flies by so that I can get going and be back in the work force!! I can't wait!!!

But wait I must because this month came with a surprise that has changed my life forever.... or at least that's what the doctors keep telling me. On October 16th I was hospitalised with a DVT which is a deep-vein thrombosis or blood clot for those who don't speak the medical language. Seems that birth control might be good at keeping away the babies, but it clogs up blood in your legs and causes alot of problems!!! I had been in alot of pain for about a week before I gave in and went to see a dr. Being without medical insurance I really didn't want to have to give in... but I'm lucky that I finally did. I was instantly sent for an ultrasound on my leg once the dr. heard that I was having pains in my calve and that my leg was starting to swell. After a very scary ultrasound experience with a jerk of a dr.... some people shouldn't have a degree if they don't know how to treat the people on their table!!! Anyway, after the ultrasound I was sent to the hospital to be admitted... I could just see the dollar signs lining up.... and I knew James could too. I was admitted and the chaos started... a blood clot is life threatening.... so they made me answer questions for two hours before doing anything, all the while scaring me to death with the chances of a heart attack or death. THANKS GUYS!! Well, they started me on blood thinners and got me going on some pain meds, which I was so so grateful for. The thing that made this experience so odd was that my dad had the same thing happen a few years ago, and that had been scary enough but to now have it be me.... I was terrified. I kept my composure pretty well through the whole thing, I didn't want my mom or James to know how scared I was. I think now I can admit that it has been the scariest thing to happen in my life. Being jumped on Halloween and going through my car accident was nothing in comparison. I was lucky enough to be released from the hospital after one night and sent home to medicate myself and stay off my leg. I now have been sitting on my couch for most of two weeks. James has been such a rock through the whole thing. Now, my house has never been this dirty and the fridge is empty, but he has been so very patient and helpful. I love him so much, and I can't believe that I am so lucky to have him!!!

Now, as I sit on my couch (leg propped as directed) with my little Lucy in my lap, I hope that October has taken all it's hits this year and that the next week will be mostly uneventful. James' birthday is on the 27th which I hope is a good day for him and I plan to ignore Halloween as usual! I just pray that it will be a good end to a trying month and that November will shine through like it always does and bless me with wonderful experiences at home, with friends, and AT WORK!!!!

Me and 'Nurse' Lucy

Our family grows once again!! Welcome Lucy!!

This is our new baby girl!! I know all of you are rolling your eyes and thinking that James and I are crazy, but look at this face and tell me you could just leave her in a pen and walk away!! Well, we couldn't and now this little bundle of clumsy sassiness is the baby of our family. Her name is Tu'Luce, but we call her Lucy and we love her so much!! As you can see her ears are huge and so is her heart. She is the most sensitive, bossy, loving puppy ever! Phoebe and Oz love her so much and can't go anywhere without making sure she's not far behind. Our front window now has one more nose to help smudge it up and our bed is now even more crowded, but we love every minute of it. Lucy is a Basset Hound, so she looks a little different than the Beagles, but the three of them together sure do make a cute little group of babies that James and I are very proud of!! I can honestly say that our lives would be very boring without our babies to make us laugh and keep us on our toes!!

Kash's 8th birthday

I can't believe how big my "little" brother is getting. 8 years have gone and went faster than I can even imagin. I know that I have changed alot since then, graduated high school, tried college, a few jobs, alot of life changing lessons, bought a house, found the love of my life, even started my own little family (hey, just cause my kids have fur doesn't mean they don't count as kids). I have learned alot about the importance of being myself and who my real friends are, including how blessed my life is to have the friends and family I have. That's how the past 8 years have changed for me, but for Kash... so much has changed!! He's 8!!! He's in school and kicking some serious butt in Football!! He loves sports and video games and even calls me to talk about movies he's seen. He's in the third grade, which I remember as one of my favorites and he listens to the same music I do!! I can't believe that he is growing up so fast, it doesn't seem very long ego that I couldn't wait for him to know how to say my name and now he surprises me with what he knows and says!! I love him so much and I really do feel lucky to have such a great little brother!! Here are some pictures from his 8th birthday parties!!

This is Kash digging for precious stones at the Dinosaur Park

This is Kash and our dad panning for Gold

This is me in a dinosaur egg!! The momma really liked me!

This is the dino Kash decided he wanted to bring home!

And James decided to be wild and crazy and ride this Dinosaur

Where's my magic wand?

Some days, sometimes I wish I had some kinda magic wand for things. Lately my mind has been whirling with to do lists and wants, but no time or energy(or even money) to do something about it. I really want to decorate my kitchen, I know it's a big project and that it'll take more time and money than I have right now, but it's the one thing that I know I would enjoy doing and that I would feel great accomplishment from. I know what I want to do, I know what I need to do to get it done, but finding the time and money to do it all is where I am lacking. Money... that's the easy part of the two. I can always save my pennies for the paint and the brushes and all the other things it will take to get my kitchen to where I dream of it being. But finding the time is where it is sooo hard. I know I have time, I watch tv, I am lazy sometimes, but I can't find the bulk amount of time that I will need to get the kitchen prepared and ready to start and actually do the work to finish it. I just wish there was some magic wand that i could swing and swish to make my kitchen as freakin amazing as I see it in my head!

Since I'm wishing for wands to fix things, I wish I had one that would magically lift some weight off my chest... and my stomach... and my legs... and everywhere else too. I have been trying to work so so hard to loose weight. Early morning workouts that make the rest of my days seem so so long and leave me so tired and drained plus trying to stick to a diet that excludes some of my favorite foods... no pasta!! Are you serious!?!?!? Not fun!! I know that it is my choice and that I'm doing it for myself, but I also know that it's not easy and it's not working the way that I thought it would before I started this adventure to better my physical appearance. I never thought that it would be easy, I just never thought it would be SO HARD!! I know that on Biggest Loser they workout ALL THE TIME and have people that help them learn about the food they need to eat, but I hoped for a better outcome then I'm seeing. I know it hasn't been very long since I've started and I know that I could be more strict with myself, but I also know that I'm 24 years old and don't want to turn into the type of person that's no fun to hang out with because they are so obsessed with nutrition and exercise. I just wish for the wand... that magic helper to whisk off the pounds!!

A good weather fairy would be nice too! I can't wait until the day I can take my babies to the park and play in the nice sunshine like I enjoyed so much last summer. I want to get some exercise outside!! I want to go on walks and even try some hikes!! But with the weather that we have now, there is no way I'm willing to go anywhere outside unless it's from my warm car to the warm store or my warm house.

I know it's really not helping to wish for these things that I know won't happen overnight, but I tell you what, my discouragement is not helping them get done either. Ah... like my mom always said "wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up faster". I'm just sick of having to weed through the shit to make the wishes come true...

Making MY house... OUR home!!

So I have been determined to get our house clean and looking good for so so long, finally last week I made James help me hang up all the picture frames I had collected and I started the process of cleaning everything. I did pretty well, but we didn't have any pictures to go in the frames! Of course I've taken tons and tons of pictures in the year and a half (YEAH THAT LONG!!!) that we've been together, but I've never had them printed out or taken them off the camera. So I decided that since the frames all around my house had people in them that I didn't know, and frankly looked a little too happy to be real people, I would take the time to order some photo prints online!! I was totally excited today when I got to go pick them up! It was so so fun to actually get to hold on to the pictures and remember those times. When we got home, I decided what pictures went where and filled all the frames. When I was done I took a look around our living room and my heart was so so full of love!! Just seeing all of the pictures up on the wall, with the smiles and memories of my time with James, was like taking a huge breath of the most comforting smell, or seeing the prettiest sunset in the sky. I know now, just like the nails that hold our pictures to the wall, our love is strong enough to hold up our memories and to create a life time full of more... I'm going to have to buy alot more frames! :o)

Phoebe's Birthday!!

Monday was Phoebe's Birthday!! We decided that we'd have a party! It was really fun to make a big deal out of Phoebe's first birthday!! James was so awesome, and he made home-made dog treats and a 'people cake' for the party! I frosted the bones for the puppies and the cake for the people and we had a really fun time!! The Johnsons', Caitlin, DJ, and Julie Lamont all came over and I hope they had as much fun as I did. Phoebe and Oz were so cute with everyone there and the excitement of the treats and presents!! It might seem pretty silly, but it was a great Birthday party! I love how James allows me to be so silly, and goes along with my crazy antics so well!! Here's some pictures of the Puppy Party!!

Bailey did so so good with the puppies!! She was so cute!

This is the birthday cake that James made and I frosted for Phoebe!! No, she didn't get any, this one was for the 'humans' to eat!

The Johnson's brought Phoebe a nice present of yummy dog treats that she got to open herself, Oz decided he needed to help her open it.

James made home-made dog bones and I frosted them with Oz and Phoebe's names on them. It was so much fun to watch them get all excited and eat them!!

My 2009 Goal List

OK, So I've decided to post these goals so that I can't give up, if they are written and I have a check list I will be more than motivated to complete them! Some may seem silly, but those are probably the most important in the long run. I'm hoping that 2009 will bring so many changes and experiences to my life that I will have a more positive daily outlook and an inspired sense of completion. I love my life so much right now and can't imagine what these changes will bring to the puzzle.

Marci's 2009 List:

Workout 6 days a week for at least 1 hour
Complete the Gold's Gym 12 week challenge
Get my house cleaned by February and KEEP IT CLEAN all year
Buy shorts and tank tops for Warped Tour Weekend
Go on a road trip to Washington to see James' family
Lose 45 lbs./fit into a size 10
Run a marathon!! (that's right Julie... we're doing it!!)
Make time to read at least a Chapter a day (that one I love, but it will be hard!)
Manage my finances better
Add $2500 to my savings
Finish my bathroom
Finish my kitchen
Keep a planner ALL YEAR
Walk the dogs at least 3 times a week
Take more pictures!